In what is being called a first in the Erie area, local resident Jennifer Pierce actually used a coupon from Valpak that she received earlier this week.

“I usually just throw out all the coupons I get in the mail, but for some reason, I decided to open the Valpak. After throwing out the first 30 coupons, I noticed one for a shoe repair store, and I remembered I had a boot that needed fixed”

Pierce went to Joel’s Shoe Repair, and presented the coupon to the incredulous owner, Joel Plaskett. “I immediately took the coupon and framed it right next to the first dollar I ever made” said Plaskett.

The coupon’s redemption was also celebrated at Valpak’s headquarters. Upon hearing the news, Valpak General Manager Jody Stephens walked over to a map of the United States and placed a pushpin on Erie. “First one for Erie!” he exclaimed to his empty office. “I thought for sure it would be one of the carpet cleaning places.” Stephens is already at work for the next Erie mailer which he says will feature at least five gutter replacement coupons.

Saying he feels humbled as he apologized for a tweet saying that Strong Vincent students are criminals, Father John Detisch has pledged that he will “get ghetto” in an effort to understand the daily plight of some city residents.

“Since I took over at St. Jude, I haven’t had much opportunity to be around the less fortunate, so I want to try in some way to connect with them,” said Fr. Detisch. “I have a vague memory of being in the seminary and discussing something about ‘a vow of poverty’, so maybe this plan could tie into that.”

Part of his plan, which is endorsed by the Erie Diocese, is to switch tailors to try and get a more urban vibe to his wardrobe. He has also adopted a new street name (Bigg Fatha D of Da RCC), and will actually board a city bus.

Fr. Detisch says he hopes that these efforts will lead to a better understanding between the students and faculty of Cathedral Prep and “regular people” at other schools.

Engineers at the Wastewater Treatment Plant on Erie’s bayfront were puzzled when they noticed that the wastewater coming in for treatment has had a blue hue for the past few months. “We commissioned a study to see what was causing it,” said Chief Engineer John Fay. “We thought the increased use of blue toilet bowl cleaners was to blame, but turns out that’s not the case.” The study revealed the culprit to be increased consumption of Blue Moon ice cream, a summer staple in Erie. “Sure enough, it started around Memorial Day and eased up by Labor Day. Now we’ll know what to expect next year.” Fay also noticed a slight increase in the blue color when local stores have a sale on Boo-Berry cereal.

Artist’s rendition of ghostly hat.

City Hall employees are on edge as sightings of a floating fedora have been reported at various places in City Hall. The first incident occurred in council chambers, where city employee Gregory MacDonald noticed a hat suspended a few feet above the center chair of the dais. “It just hovered above the chair for a few seconds before disappearing,” said MacDonald. Another sighting was made on the fifth floor by Kevin Shields. “The hat kept trying to enter the mayor’s office, but couldn’t” said Shields. “I actually felt a sense of frustration coming from the hat. It seemed like it really wanted to get in.” Frightened employees on the fifth floor also report seeing empty tubes of Mayor Tullio’s Brylcreem.

Radio station Rocket 101 (WRKT) reached a milestone today by playing Joe Walsh’s “Rocky Mountain Way” for the 50,000th time since going on the air in 1989. “We play it four or five times a day, so it adds up over 26 years” said station spokesman Chris Murphy.  “It’s even better when we pair it with a George Thorogood song.”  Not to be outdone, Z102 (WQHZ) has announced that they are trimming their playlist to 50 songs. “Folks in Erie seem to like hearing the same songs over and over, so we need to give them what they want” said weekend DJ Wes LaChot. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go put on “Rocky Mountain Way.”

Google Earth has announced that Corry, Pennsylvania has been added to extensive program that covers the whole globe. “We never knew it existed” said Google spokesman Martin Chambers. “Once we found out about it, it was just a matter of getting our map car over there. We asked for volunteers to go to Corry, but no one signed up initially. When we finally did convince someone to go, we wanted to make sure there was no chance of snow, so we waited until late August.” Corry residents are already making plans to see their town on Google Earth, just as soon as they find a friend or family member who has an Internet connection.

The Circle K market at 26th and Cherry hasn’t been robbed in nearly five weeks – and clerk Gerald Love is not happy about it. “The only time this job is interesting is when I’m being robbed” said Love. “I get to be on the news, and meet some nice cops.” Love’s manager, Donita Sparks, doesn’t quite understand his enthusiasm, but appreciates it nonetheless. “He volunteers for the late night shift all the time. He has a good way with robbers; he makes them feel at ease” said Sparks. As for Love, he will continue to wait behind the counter for the next incident. “I think it’s going to be soon; we’ve never gone more than six weeks without a robbery” said Love, as he spied a suspicious vehicle pulling into the parking lot.

City officials have closed the fountain in Perry Square due to elevated levels of E. Coli that were found during daily testing. “We’re looking at possible causes” said city parks spokesman Jay Ferguson.  “It could be the storm last night that churned up the water.” Other possible causes include pigeons, unleashed dogs, and that weird guy that sleeps on a nearby bench. Ferguson warns that people wanting to wade in the fountain should wear three layers of footwear. The fountain will reopen when levels reach the “Barely Acceptable” range.

As they do before hunting season starts, local gun safety advocates have announced that they will have a gun safety check before the start of the school year.  The first two checks will be held at East and Strong Vincent High Schools.  “We will set up a table outside the school and examine each gun being brought in to make sure it’s in good working order” said program coordinator Kevin Shields. “We feel this gives peace of mind for both the students and the faculty.” In the future, Shields hope to expand this program to include knives and brass knuckles.