PREP-villa Merger Will Reluctantly Acknowledge Some Villa History

The merger of Cathedral Prep and Villa Maria high schools remains on schedule, but some Villa parents are upset that Villa students are getting the short end of the scepter as more Cathedral Prep traditions will be preserved than Villa traditions.

Even though Villa Maria high school has a much longer tradition than Cathedral Prep, the combined school will feature Prep’s orange and black colors and the Prep mascot. “We here at PREP-villa think it’s important for children to understand at a young age that boys are just more important than girls, as a matter of our collective Catholic faith,” said PREP-villa spokesman Edward Mann. “I mean, girls can never become priests, and they certainly can’t play football. Young women of the Catholic faith need to realize their proper place in the Church, and by emphasizing the Cathedral Prep traditions over the Villa traditions, it prepares them for a life of not being regarded on the same level as men, as the Church has taught for centuries.”

“We had 33 people on the task force and some of them were women,” said PREP-villa task force member Dr. Thomas Higgenbotham IV, Cathedral Prep Class of ’91. “When they were allowed to speak, they had some ideas, I guess. I wasn’t really listening; I was waiting for the next man to talk.” To assuage the defendants of the Villa Maria tradition, there will be a shrine to Villa at the merged school. “We’ve already made space in a janitor’s closet and plan to put some Villa memorabilia on the shelf behind the vacuum cleaner, right next to the Vo-Ban,” said Higgenbotham.

Some parents of girls are actually happy. “I was disheartened when I had a daughter because I knew she wouldn’t be able to attend my alma mater,” said Rich Bigmunni, Cathedral Prep Class on ’86, “But now she can, so that takes away some of the disappointment.”

The Diocese is also planning on saving money on custodial services, as they plan on having the former Villa girls do all the cleaning.

Comments

  1. Karen Keene says:

    Brilliant! Almost not satire!

    Like

  2. “We’ve already made space in a janitor’s closet and plan to put some Villa memorabilia on the shelf behind the vacuum cleaner, right next to the Vo-Ban,” said Higgenbotham. Ok, REALLY! Villa Maria Academy is NOT just about memorabilia!!! And it’s so kind of you to leave a space in the JANITOR’S CLOSET!!! MY school, established in 1892, is about GIRLS becoming WOMEN—Christian women, I might add!!! My mom, aunts, cousins, SONS, and friends have graduated from Villa, and WE have kept strong ties with each other in the Erie Community, as well as elsewhere in the WORLD! As a matter of fact, many of us have taken care of the Erie Community, as well as in other parts of the WORLD! We were taught to treat others with kindness, empathy, and love. This is what Villa is about—NOT memorabilia! It is about people taking care of other people!! I still can not believe that Villa Maria will be closed, and girls will no longer have this wonderful opportunity in their lives to attend this school of faith. Hail Alma Matre, Hail all Hail…this day we sing of YOU with HOPE AND PRIDE!!!

    Like

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