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Erie Coke to Add Scents to Harmful Benzene Emissions

eriecoke

Responding to complaints from lower eastside residents, the oft-fined Erie Coke plant has decided to add pleasant scents to mask the unpleasant odor from the benzene emissions. According to Erie Coke Spokesperson Bob Gerunkel, the scents will change often.

“We understand that the odor can sometimes be off-putting, so starting in spring, we will add floral scents to the smoke – much like incense, or potpourri. The first scent will be lilac – starting April 30th,” said Gerunkel.

When asked if the new scents will mean less danger to those who breathe the air, Gerunkel replied,
“No. Oh, no. No. No. No. Not in the least.”

“Our position is that residents of the lower east side who complain about the emissions are simply taking too deep a breath of air. We would ask them to try and work with us by taking shorter breaths.”

Erie Coke also plans a series of “Throwback Scents” that will run every Thursday during the summer, beginning with the odor named “Hammermill -1975” on June 27th.

For a schedule of the scents, Gerunkel encourages all concerned citizens to check out Erie Coke’s Facebook page, providing they can stop coughing long enough to correctly type in the web address.

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Comments

  1. Reblogged this on idiotprufs.

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