GateHouse Media, the out-of-town owners of the Erie Times-News, has announced its acquisition of the Valpak Company. The two Erie businesses will merge into a single product called the Erie Val-News.
Effective May 1, readers will receive their newspaper in those familiar blue envelopes mailed directly to homes in the tri-state area. Individual coupons, mixed in with traditional Valpak deals, will contain national and local news articles, the sports section, and one coupon for comics – with the exception of “Rex Morgan, M.D.”, which will have its own individual coupon because, well, obviously …
The media conglomerate’s statement, released yesterday, reads in full:
“Gatehouse is committed to continuing its proud tradition of acquiring, then sucking the life-blood out of once-vital local newspapers. Now, in addition to state-of-the-art articles by our veteran team of two interns and Pat Howard, the Erie Val-News will offer fantastic savings on pizza and tree stump removal services. A reader checking for, say, Aunt Kimberly’s viewing hours will also have the opportunity to pick up a great deal on garage door openers. Any questions? No? Great! … Oh, and by the way, your town is adorable!”
Gooferie contacted the Erie Times-News for comment, but no one was there.
gooferie 
Perfect, sadly, just perfect. Hate to devalue my Valpak, however.
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Reblogged this on idiotprufs.
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Too true to be funny …. but still very funny!
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