Proposed Downtown Roundabout to Feature a Monkey Island

PennDOT has announced that the plans for the proposed roundabout at State Street and the Bayfront Parkway will feature a Monkey Island.

“The public has been…shall we say; less than enthusiastic about these plans. So we thought drivers should have something fun to watch as they navigate the roundabout,” said PennDOT spokesperson Sarah Tudzin. 

Concerned citizens are worried about potential hazards. “What about the smell?” asked downtown resident Jim Ellison. “Can you imagine what it will be like in the middle of summer, with the monkey odor combining with all the rotting fish?” 

PennDOT also announced they are working on new traffic signs that will warn drivers to be on the lookout for feces that may be lobbed at their cars by the monkeys. “You may want to keep your windows rolled up while in the roundabout,” said Tudzin. “Especially if the monkeys are really grouchy and just had a big meal.”