Secret Documents Reveal Erie Diocese Involvement in Project NePTWNE

Community members and Blasco Library supporters have been disappointed in a recent vote to allow Gannon University to lease library space for an aquatic research center. 

Gooferie investigative journalists have discovered hidden documents that seem to indicate that The Roman Catholic Diocese of Erie is behind this project. This endeavor, known as Project NePTWNE, is purported to be an aquatic research station/aquarium. We here at Gooferie have discovered this to be false. Papers from the office of Bishop Lawrence Persico have revealed that the project will actually be a cod and pollock breeding facility. This proposed hatchery will provide fish for Lenten fish fries. 

Nobody from the Diocese was willing to speak on the record but a minion from Bishop Persico’s office talked to us under condition of anonymity. “The fish fries are getting expensive.” the informant told us. “His Grace thought this would be a great way to save money.”

When asked about public outrage at this decision the minion responded, “Since when has the Diocese ever cared about community input?”

Library supporters are concerned about cuts to popular programs. It’s thought that the Children’s Library may be on the chopping block. County Executive Brenton Davis is apparently unconcerned with this possibility. He was overheard saying “I’ve never read a book in my life and look what I’ve accomplished!”