Local Law Enforcement Addresses Port-A-Potty Shortage

Horace Manewer, an agent with the Erie office of the FBI, has told us here at Gooferie that there is more to the reported portable toilet shortage that has been initially revealed. “We’re not sure what’s happening here.” said Manewer. “Right now we have nothing to go on.”

He went on to say that Erieites are not aware of the seriousness of the shortage. “Everyone  just poo- poos it.” He told us. “But truthfully the whole thing really stinks.” 

Manewer said that local law enforcement is not just sitting on this problem. “It’s both number one and number two on our priority list.”

Because of the gravity of this issue, law enforcement is asking for the public’s help. “If you can offer us a clue, no matter how hard it is, we need you to just squeeze it out.” Manewer said that citizens can call in and leave tips anonymously. “Because nobody wants to be a stool pigeon.”

Manewer did acknowledge that part of the problem may lie with the local employee shortage. “The portable toilet companies are telling us that nobody seems to want to clean up human waste for minimum wage anymore.”

“In any case” Manewer continued, “ We really just want to put this all behind us and wipe it away. It’s not what law enforcement DOESN”T do about it. It’s all about what we DO DO.”