Shots Fired Pretty Much Everywhere


Erie police are again up to their ankles in shell casings as they continue to investigate multiple shots fired calls in the city. “It’s like the Wild West out there,” said a police spokesman, “Except the guns are much more accurate, and there’s no horses.”  

Mayor Joe Sinnott is urging caution for city residents. “I’m on my way to get measured for a bullet proof vest to wear under my motorcycle riding vest,” said the mayor. “They don’t have my size in stock.” He then wistfully looked at his desk calendar that had the date January 2, 2018 circled, with a note stating “Term is over – get the hell out of Erie.”

Officials are also looking into adding some additional coroners for what they expect to be a busy summer season.  When asked for comment, Coroner Lyell Cook responded in such a deep voice that no one could understand what he said.



  1. Concerned citizen says:

    Mayor needs to resign now if he’s just tryen to survive through his term. Can’t sit around and wait till 2018 to get someone in his office that wants to deal with the problem instead of buyen a bullet proof vest


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