Splash Lagoon Macaw Can’t Retire on Just Minimum Wage


The macaw at Splash Lagoon wants to retire, but can’t afford to do so as he is still only being paid minimum wage, even though he’s worked as an entertainer at the water park for several years. “I’ve been squawking about a raise for years,” said the surprisingly verbose macaw, who declined to provide his name. “I’d like a beak to beak meeting with the owner, but he’s always next door eating.”

The macaw also has issues with his working conditions. “To have to breathe in chlorine while listening to children scream all day…I don’t know how my fellow human employees do it. And don’t get me started on that damn tiki water bucket. When that horn blasts I nearly fall off what’s left of my perch!”

If able to retire, the macaw plans to relocate to an actual lagoon.


  1. Thank your for my chuckle of the day. Sometimes I think people around here take themselves far to seriously.


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