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Jesus Christ Cuts Ties With Pennsylvania Catholic Churches

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The central figurehead of Christianity has announced that He is severing ties with all churches in the Dioceses of Pennsylvania. “I just can’t anymore with these guys.” Jesus said earlier today. The Incarnation of God the Son expressed frustration with the PA Grand Jury’s recent revelatory reports. “They use my name all the time “ He said with obvious disgust.  “But these sick bastards and the jerks that protected them do not represent me or my teachings at all.” Jesus went on to say “If I had a shekel for every time I gave these deplorable old men the chance to do the right thing and they didn’t, I’d be a very wealthy messiah.”  When asked specifically about Erie’s list of abusers, Jesus sighed and shook his head. “Oh yeah.” He said. “The Diocese of Erie has been on my shitlist for a very long time. Especially since the whole Garvey thing. I mean that dude was one evil SOB. And the people who protected that pervert? Well, let’s just say they won’t be meeting ME in the afterlife.”

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