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Beer Barrel Rolled out at Zabawa, Striking Patron

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A visitor to the annual Polish festival Zabawa was slightly injured today, as a beer barrel got loose and rolled over him.

According to Zabawa spokesman Zbigniew Piędziesięciogroszówka, the incident occurred when the beer barrel was rolled out prematurely. “Unfortunately, Zygmunt Zulowski, the barrel keeper, released the barrel before the gang had all gotten here.”

Zulowski was apparently confused by someone saying “Zing Boom Terraral” which was his cue to let loose the barrel.

As the keg was barreling toward the crowded pierogi stand, world renowned tuba player Myron Wlada heroically hurled his tuba in front of the berserk barrel, which altered its path, thus avoiding the long line of hungry attendees.

The barrel then changed direction, and headed towards Walter and Ethel Blue, who were attending Zabawa with their sons Stan and Johnny. Luckily, they were able to run away from the rolling barrel. “I guess you could say that when the barrel was rolled out, it got the Blues on the run,” said Piędziesięciogroszówka.

The barrel did find one victim, Wally Rzeszutko, who was visiting from Canonsburg. Rzeszutko was struck and fell to the ground, knocking him out temporarily.  “I thought I was a goner,” said Rzeszutko. “I had a vision that I was in heaven – I looked around for a beer, but there wasn’t any. I guess the old song was right.”

To appease the injured patron, Piędziesięciogroszówka announced that Rzeszutko could enjoy unlimited cabbage rolls and Tyskie beer for the remainder of the festival.

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