City Council Enacts Clown Ban

Local clowns are crying on the inside today as Erie City Council has enacted a ban on clowns within city limits.

Council decided to enact the law in a meeting today, after fielding numerous calls from citizens about the recent rash of clown sightings and associated “funny business.”

Specifically, the ordinance bans fake lapel flowers, red noses, and bow ties over one foot in length. The law also includes a reminder that Pennsylvania’s open-carry laws do not apply to bottles of seltzer.

Council has also instructed city police to pull over any Volkswagen that contains 10 or more occupants, and to be on the lookout for oversize footwear that is “comical” in nature.

Mayor Joe Sinnott has stated he will sign the legislation “after this next karaoke song.”