In a surprise announcement, Nick Scott has revealed that Scott Enterprises plans to build a Hampton Inn on the site of the iconic Riverside Inn, which was recently destroyed by fire.
“In this business, it’s all about the opportunity,” said Scott. “As I was watching the footage of the disaster, I had a tear in one eye, and a dollar sign in the other.”
Scott says he intends to hire everyone who was employed at the Riverside, and will pay them not at all close to what they made at the Riverside.
“I’m even thinking of putting a second Splash Lagoon in French Creek,” added Scott.
Construction will begin as soon as the last of the ten memorial services are complete.
gooferie 
I hope this isn’t real, you sound absolutely ridiculous. You think you’re going to make ANY money in our washed up town? Please. The riverside only brought in revenue because it was HISTORIC, and a huge part of locals’ childhoods. Cambridge doesn’t need a hotel. We are too small and there’s not even enough traffic flow to gain any sort of profit. Obviously this must be fake considering your thoughts of a second splash lagoon in the fuckin creek. Fuck this. There needs to be a memorial of the riverside, not a new hotel. The fuck. -A very angry lifetime resident.
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The page is called “GOOF ERIE” not “GO ERIE”. It is satire.
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Thank you Mr. Scott. This is exactly what we need. I believe you’ll be able to turn this town around again and make it even better then it was
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I work at golf course when I was a kid
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I love this place is my home town
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As far as satire goes I do not think that this article is even remotely humorous. I believe this falls into the same category as someone writing a joke about a family member that has recently died. I have not heard of Goof Erie prior to today and I would guess that is for good reasons. Personally, if I were associated with Scott Enterprises I would not only consider this attempt at humor to be in poor taste; but more so I would consider this to be maliciously defamatory.
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Still got golf corse. I hope this new place is nice. Scott nos how to built hotels. This is good for Cambridge.
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IF Mr. Scott IS going to build, too bad he cannot make it look like the Riverside did. (my opinion, for what it is worth)
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I would suggest reading the article again. It is full of jabbing satire.
“…said Scott. ‘As I was watching the footage of the disaster, I had a tear in one eye, and a dollar sign in the other'”. a money-hungry opportunist so soon after the tragedy
“…. intends to hire everyone who was employed at the Riverside, and will pay them not at all close to what they made at the Riverside”. That’s definitely satire and extremely smart
“I’m even thinking of putting a second Splash Lagoon in French Creek,”; Come on people, how did you take ANY of this seriously?
“Construction will begin as soon as the last of the ten memorial services are complete”; this is just thrown in there for fun. There was one legitimate ceremony last Saturday.
I know we all want to believe that the Riverside will be there again someday .
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Thank you for your comment. It was very well written but quite long. We had to edit for the sake of length. I hope you don’t mind.
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Great article,loved it!!! Keep up the humor. But some of your readers need to learn to read as it’s called Fake News, think they don’t know how to read the word “fake”. HA HA
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