PennDOT Officials Regret Leaving Office Monkey in Charge of Bayfront Project

Facing yet another delay in their Bayfront Highway project, officials at PennDOT are now expressing regrets at how the multimillion Bayfront Parkway project was handled. Spokesperson Jill Harry believes mistakes were made in choosing the project leader. “In retrospect, we shouldn’t have given final approval to Rupert.” Harry is referring to Rupert McMonkey, the PennDOT office support animal. “When the Erie Zoo lost funding, they couldn’t afford to keep the monkey exhibit. They started farming out some of the smarter monkeys to local government offices as support staff. He was doing really well with the engineering tasks we gave him, so we thought he would be able to handle this project.” Problems appeared soon after the project began. Rupert never thought to check for things under the dirt. Of course, why would that occur to a monkey? So, mea culpa on that one.” She was quick to add that not all the problems were Rupert’s fault. “None of us thought that we would find underground water that close to the bay.”

The project team would often have disagreements that would lead to “biting” and the occasional “tossing of feces,” sometimes even involving Rupert.  When asked if the Bayfront Parkway was indeed going to be closed for 18 months, Harry quickly dispelled that rumor. “Of course not, it’s going to be much longer than that. 18 months is just PennDOT speak for two years or more.”